Also, shouldn’t there be a kind of lead-up to the whole kidnap thing because it is kind of a plonk in the middle of a street and get raped. The structure was diffucult to read. xvideo I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your structure is sloppy. The structure was diffucult to read. Also, shouldn’t there be a kind of lead-up to the whole kidnap thing because it is kind of a plonk in the middle of a street and get raped. I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your









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