It kind of sounds like a middle schooler is writing it a bit. 6 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2011-08-10 23:05:17As they say more please!!!anonymous readerReport 2010-09-15 09:35:32This is a great story!! xx video 6 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2011-08-10 23:05:17As they say more please!!!anonymous readerReport 2010-09-15 09:35:32This is a great story!! Also, I like how you added paragraphs in this one, but you still had that massive chunk of an ending, Try splitting it up and adding more detail.«12» It kind of sounds like a middle schooler is writing it a bit. Sorry if that’s a bit harsh. 6 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2011-08-10 23:05:17As they say more please!!!anonymous readerReport 2010-09-15 09:35:32This is a great story!! Please tell us more.klaxxReport 2009-02-02 22:11:59″TO BE CONTINUDE” *snork*
Sounds like Engrish.READERReport 2008-02-25 19:18:18Wow terrible i cant even read it its called paraghraphs. …
