Also, shouldn’t there be a kind of lead-up to the whole kidnap thing because it is kind of a plonk in the middle of a street and get raped. xvideo The structure was diffucult to read. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your structure is sloppy. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. You need some paragraphs and more story flow.anonymous readerReport 2011-02-04 20:35:16Not much dialoge. . . . . . …«1» You need some paragraphs and more story flow.anonymous readerReport 2011-02-04 20:35:16Not much dialoge. . . . . . …«1» You need some paragraphs and more story flow.anonymous readerReport 2011-02-04 20:35:16Not much dialoge. . . . . . …«1» You need some paragraphs and more story flow.anonymous readerReport 2011-02-04 20:35:16Not much dialoge. . . . . . …«1»
